Friday, December 07, 2007


(Thank you for the laugh, Kerry Vandencombsie!!! Can't wait to see you in Kansas! )
Holy Cow, did I have a scare today. Imagine this--I'm putzing around the lab, listening to some Christmas music, feeling excited about the weekend/next week, blah blah blah. Upon checking my email, I have multiple messages from various people (Thank you Chip, Kris, Ryan!), telling me I HAVE BEEN SUSPENDED by USAC! Folks, let me tell you, my heart about sunk through the floor. As you probably know, I just recently provided a fine specimen to the USADA folks, and of course I thought that was what it was pertaining to. That, in combination with my Catholic upbringing, and I had myself a) divorced, b) bankrupt from lawyer fees, and c) pregnant within a minute of reading those emails. To say I have an overactive imagination is an understatement.
Anyhow, it turns out that I was suspended because I hadn't paid a fee for not picking up my number the night before the Greenbriar UCI mt bike race. Now before you go thinking I am a huge slacker that doesn't pay her bills on time, I just want to say in my defense that I got the email on November 30 from USAC saying I had a $24 fee to pay!!!! Here it is just 1 a week later, and I (along with a whole slew of others) was suspended! I honestly thought it was no big deal, and that I would just have to pay it before I renewed my license for next year. There certainly was no hint of a deadline and/or suspension in the email.
So, hopefully this will serve as a warning to everybody. When the USAC says "pay up," you'd better whip out your credit card and say "take what you need."
Meanwhile, I am fully prepared to be made fun of. Gunnar likes to point out that in all his years of racing, he has never been a) fined, b) relegated (at least one that stuck), or c) suspended, whereas I have a) been there, b) done that, and c) now you know the story on that one.

Even the Kids are making fun of me.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Just as he was about to attack...

We are sad to report that F*ckerman's season ended abruptly and spectacularly at the Carlisle race. He tore the ligaments in his thumb (cringe!). All you single ladies out there, take note-- this man needs some TLC!

Like a true teammate, he was still there to heckle us all from the pits on Sunday, though.

Hope your thumb heals quick, F*ckerman!!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

At Your Service

FORT Factory Team Pit Crew, in action, trying to figure out those new-fangled crank thingies.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

New Racing Machine!

Oi, I love this bike.

Gunnar putting on the finishing touches with a little help from Bozo, F*kerman's cat.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Another Lost Child

This post should really go on the DairyDog and Lost Children website, but we don't want to disturb the dD pictures just yet. So, I'll write about it here.
Somebody asked me at the race yesterday if we planned to get another "pet." I said we probably wouldn't turn one away if we happened to find one, but we had no plans to get another one. Well, I guess I should have amended that, because guess what we found today!!?

A PYTHON!!!!!!

Yes, indeed. We found him in the same park that we found the Reese's Extravaganza, just sitting on a rock. After my normal freak-out at the sight of a snake, we looked at him a bit closer and both came to the conclusion that this snake did not look indigenous to West by-God Virginia. He looked more like he belonged in Africa.
So, gunnar scooped him up with a stick and we put him in my lunch bag (yum) and took him to the Exotic Jungle. We marched in and said we found a snake, and you could just see them roll their eyes, like oh great... imagine their surprise (and ours) when the PetShop Boy took one look at him and exclaimed, a Ball Python! Apparently he had just eaten something, too, because he had a big old poochy belly. I guess they are really shy and docile creatures, and make great pets. Unfortunately, if we kept him, we would have to whack rodents on the head to feed him, so he is not the animal for us. I am sure he will find a nice home there with all the other creepy crawlies at the Exotic Jungle.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Trudge Onward We Must

We keep dragging our feet here at fiendCentral.
But we'll be going to the start of the MAC season, fret not.
Just don't expect too much, it's been a tough time.
Really tough.

Racing with dairyDog on our mind-

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

The Show Must Go On.

I've been outvoted.
In light of the recent demise of 1/3 of our family, my vote was to can the cross season. Call it a wrap and give it a go next year, and spend this season being fat, pasty-white, and agoraphobic.
However, gunnar is right when he says becoming hermits is probably the worst thing we can do, and his vote is to give it a go. Tied, 1-1.
So, WWdDD?
You know as well as I do that she would want us out there racing our little broken hearts out, with her cheering from above. So, I guess despite not having really thought about cross the last couple weeks, we'll see you all at Granogue.
We better practice our scrumming.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

See All the Fun You're Missing

When you leave early?
Well, F*ckerMan didn't take a teammate out this weekend, but he unfortunately took himself out. I saw it from the pit, and it did not look like fun, especially when his hand got run over. In an effort to toughen him up a bit, here's gunnar scrubbing that knee out with a wire brush.

Another example of HillBilly Hygiene!

A typical scene

This is about 4:30 pm at Lilypons.
Where did everybody go? We are nearly always the last to leave.
Most of the time we are at least out of our chamois before everybody leaves, though.

** addendum by gunnar.
We were still waiting for BEER!!!
You promised!!!
And didn't deliver!!!

Pox on you.

Friday, September 28, 2007


I've been waiting for this ever since road nationals. What if that poppy seed muffin I ate 3 years ago is still in my system? What if dairyDog's steroids somehow crept into my system? What if I breathed some of that inhaler that my sister used to use back in high school (14 years ago)? What if I am really a man? What if I have a chimeric twin?

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Mountain State Road Classic

WV State Champs

YAHOO! That gunnar is one sneaky boy. As he said, the strongest man does not always win the race.

Here is our secret weapon for cross season, aka as F*cker Man.

Team Bi-Atch/Casorph Piano official podium wear.

It takes special talent to endo while going uphill.

Friday, September 07, 2007


Is taking all our time.

We eat, sleep, think, just like our comrades at CTU.
It's awful.
But we can't walk away now, we're in too deep.

sent from somewhere inside the Compound, room #3.
Secure port:3285

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Cross starts when?

You can see Betsy's old and new frames/bikes.
But can you find mine?
They're buried.
Behind the box, behind our borrowed award-tandem.

I don't think I'm ready for Cross just yet.
But *my* legs don't hurt when I run...

Friday, August 17, 2007

Tales From the Bog

That's what the story is in this month's National Geographic.
And when I saw it I thought of Canaan Valley, WV.

The magazine and web article are talking about the bodies and what-not that are being found in some Irish Peat Bogs from way back when.
The bogs I'm thinking about are a bit closer to home and not so way back, and though there may be some bodies left over from the spectators during the last few Blackwater 100s, mostly the bogs contain some really interesting riding and probably more then a few pair of cycling shoes.

Besides the Moon Rocks and Plantation Trail, the Bogs are probably the most memorable feature of doing any riding or racing in the Canann Valley region.
Lots of stories about folks thinking they had the good line only to see someone else 30 yards away riding the bike while they themselves get "bogged" down. Yet again.
Or racing at the Original 24 Hours of Canaan, *seeing* the lights out there, wondering if they or you have the better line, and waiting to see who's lights go arching across the sky right as the rider falls knee deep into the bog.

The Bogs sure are a mean kind of fun.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

More Tails

iPlayOutside's story -
Black Bear Fiction

"Never looked back." Wrong. Denied.
I saw Steve on the long gravel climb.
I saw Steve on the last hike-a-bike and he saw me. He said "oh, no, not this time Gunnar." (in his thick Steve Heel accent) To his credit, though he was starting to cramp and such what not, he had the presence of mind to stop at the last feed station and get some food in him, then of course he really knew that last decent well, and I just went ass-over-tin-cups once, couldn't make one of the switchback at all, but was trying really hard to reel him in.
We had a good race.

And poor Betsy.
Had to race in Bean boots. :(
And flatted, and fell down a crevace. :(
And had that blotted wrist from those evil bees. :(

Well Betsy is at least pleased that her only mishap was at a race that wasn't particularly important.
All my mishaps happen at the more important ones -
* Greenbriar AMBC
* Stoopid 50 (not leading, but dern close)
* WV State MTB Championships
* NORBA National Championships
And at every one, I was leading when calamity struck.
Poopie pants.

Home finally and greeted by the Chris's feral cats

What we had to look forward to the next morning

Tails from the Black Bear, coming soon

But first, Big Foot in Kanawha State Forest? -
Puzzling Evidence

You saw it here first!

Trail Maintenance Kicks Butt!

And it really kicked ours too.

Regardless of how the points get added on or added to, Betsy and I are trying to do our part.

This year the WVMBA Series is trying out the Pay Dirt Program where by doing hours of certified Trail help and what-not will get you points toward your overall standings in the series.
So we got in contact w/ Mark Schooley at Big Bear Lake and arranged for a Trail Day.

As it turned out, it was just the three of us at first, then lot owner and fellow MTBer, Keith, showed up to help out too.
We worked from 10am to 3pm, and what took us all that time to mark, negotiate, and clear, we rode in about 10 minutes. That's how trail work goes sometimes, but when you piece a bunch of work together over a few weeks you've got some real trails to ride.
But the day was not w/o mishap and incident, as we stumbled (quite literally) a den of ground bees that swarmed and tried to make life more miserable than we already were. I got stung three or four time, Betsy got stung four times, Keith and Mark were spared. My tough skin proved usefull as all I got were some itchys, where as the tender-skinned Betsy swelled up, got dizzy, and generally had a bad time from that point until the next day.
I also lost my nice foldable Gerber saw. Poopie pants.

After working for 5 hours we decided to go on a "one" hour ride. Mark wanted to show us the new trail by the pines too, "shouldn't take too long".
2:45 hours later we were all back. No flats, just a longer ride, a misplaced rider, but some really nice riding on a really nice day.

But it crushed us but good!
We got home, barely, tried to walk dD around some, then came home, maybe ate some, and took a nap, then woke, tried to get things ready for the race the next day, and fell back to sleep. We were wrecked.
I also forgot to put Betsy's race shoes in the bus.
And of course that lead to a frustrating time the next day...

Betsy's normally thin wrist looking not so happy.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Friday, August 10, 2007

Wilderness101, Addendum

CyclingNews W101 Report and Results

Look for your favorite Team Bi-atch/Casdorph Piano player in the full results, we all finished! -
* Betsy "crush them Torg, do as I say"
* gunnar "more walking would have helped"
* Mike "when should I stop?" Yozell
* Chris "3 gears is plenty" McGill

And don't forget the WV Nite Club Posse -
* Benji "argg I need a heavier gear" Klimas
* Jon-jon "ahh, you just need to shift it" Martin
* Chris "I carried three tubes and didn't need any of them?" Phillips
Thanks for Caution Taping the bus guys...

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Wilderness101, Part I

Some of us faired better during the W101 than others.... I've never seen eyes roll back into someone's head like that before. Erica, I hope you are not reading this.